The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
