I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
