I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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