scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
