he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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