He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize