My room smells like vodka and shame
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
