I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
