May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
