i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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