I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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