direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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