sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
should my penis look like a turkey
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
