i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize