living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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