They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
