he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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