Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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