**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So squirting runs in the family.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
