just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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