dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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