And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
