Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize