How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize