CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
