Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
