I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
