Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize