love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
