So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
