its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
