I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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