I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
