Got a toothbrush?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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