My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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