quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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