how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
worst night to have a conscience
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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