we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So many bounce houses so little time
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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