I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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