If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
