my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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