So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize