Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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