did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
