my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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