Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
