if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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