ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize