Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
