I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
