I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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