i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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