I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
