Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
