Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize