It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
