I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
