doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
