I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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