I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize