I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
and she was petting her beer can
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
