If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bring me that man meat
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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