That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
